


Life is scarier when you won't die alone

by elysiontower



Series: i wanted gueimeis fics so i threw darts at prompt generators [1]
Category: Promare (2019)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, hurt with debatable amounts of comfort, the mortifying ordeal of being in love when your lives are constantly in danger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:13:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23260765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elysiontower/pseuds/elysiontower
Summary: Meis and Lio talk at night, and Gueira sleeps through all of it.[updated, formerly titled "Napping".]
Relationships: Gueira/Meis (Promare)
Series: i wanted gueimeis fics so i threw darts at prompt generators [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1672507
Comments: 10
Kudos: 61





	Life is scarier when you won't die alone

The sun is sinking along the horizon. Everyone’s been settling in, finding their own space and comfort within the concrete structures. It’s been hard for anyone to rest easy, fearing every second like they’re back in those frozen cells, even children not wandering too far from the adults they trust. They’re tired. All Mad Burnish can do is protect them, keeping track of who’s present and taking turns on watch.

Gueira’s been sitting out for hours, eyes trained to the outstretch of desert. Meis knows he’s just as wary as the rest of them, but the adrenaline can only keep him awake for so long; he’s known the redhead long enough to know, in spite of his abundant energy and passion, when exhaustion is catching up to him.

“Hey,” Meis calls. Gueira turns to him, and something tightens in his chest when his friend’s eyes light up. “I can take over from here.”

“You sure? You’re probably tired,” Gueira insists, but he does nothing to stop Meis from sitting by his side. 

“Moving in wasn’t that bad. You, on the other hand, are barely keeping your eyes open. Get some sleep.”

"Hmph." In spite of the concession, Gueira doesn’t get up. He stays where he is, shifting only to lean his head on Meis’s shoulder. 

There's a silence between them. None of this is new to them: debating who stays up, settling on staying together, keeping each other… close. 

The pair survey the darkening waste before them, only half attent at this point. Meis will never admit it, but the scarlet of sunset always reminds him of his partner; who could ever stand something that sappy? It's not like him.

Still, it makes him wonder what reminds Gueira of him.

That same man interrupts his thoughts. "You sure you'll be okay?"

He huffs out a laugh, though fond of the concern. "Yeah, we managed to get a bit of coffee together for the night watch. Don't worry about me."

"...Sure."

After a few moments of quiet, Gueira moves - and Meis misses the contact, just for a second, before Gueira's laying down, resting his head on the other's lap. His surprise doesn't have time to last as he hears his friend mutter something, clear enough to hear but not enough to process.

"What's that?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, I know I heard somethin'."

There's a pause, followed by a sigh. "I'm always worried about you. Idiot."

Of course he'd worry about him. Why wouldn't he? They've known each other for years, stuck together through the lowest points in their lives, and now they're all they have left. It only makes sense. If Meis were to call anything else home, after all these years of hell and running, it'd be Gueira.

Even so, there's something in the back of Meis's head that confuses him. No amount of reasoning can settle the feeling in his gut; is he just surprised to hear him say it?

When no reply follows, Gueira hazards a glance his way, then looks back. What does his face look like? What expression is he making? He'll never know, as the other man fills the silence himself. "Wake me up if something happens. I'm not leavin' you here alone." 

"...Right." Of course he won't. That's how they've made it this far, after all. Meis's hand finds its way into red locks, stroking them slowly, and he's not surprised to find that they're soft. Even now, through all the shit they've been through. It's just how he is. 

Gueira drifts off with a smile on his face.

His partner observes him all the same; watches the rise and fall of his chest slow, notices how the nervous twitches and occasional itch of his face, arm, cease with sleep. Without his ever-brash spark of chatter, all that remains is the gentle breathing that reminds Meis that he truly is okay, for once. He's here, he's safe. Nothing to worry about. 

Meis keeps watch of the arid wasteland surrounding them, making sure it stays that way.

  
  


Who knows how long they've been out here? The moon's now high above them, stars scattered across the expanse of sky, and the desert is alight. The settlement is quiet, but he's not naïve to the tension in the air; Meis knows that no one's asleep. Too much has happened lately. Too much reason to be afraid of their dreams.

As if to prove his point, the clack of heels grows ever louder, ever more apparent behind him, until they stop.

"Boss," he greets with a nod.

Lio returns the greeting, arms crossed, as he leans against the wall. Meis knows there's no point in telling him to rest; the two of them don't share much, but they don't need to say aloud how painful the anxiety has been. The terror of knowing that all of this that they fought tooth and nail for, this illusion of peace, can be stolen in an instant. He hates it, and he knows Lio does too.

Meis can't help but notice the younger man's wayward glance, following it to his own hand still in Gueira's hair. He'd almost forgotten about it, absent-mindedly playing with the strands as he keeps his eyes on the wasteland. 

"You two are close, huh?" 

It's unexpected to hear him ask that now, of all times. "...Yeah. Known each other since we were kids."

Lio seems to think on that, nodding. "If I may be honest, I was surprised to hear that the group near Promepolis had dual leaders."

"Is that what they've been sayin'?" Meis raises an eyebrow at his observation, but keeps his voice down. "I ain't shit. It's all this guy here, but you didn't hear that from me. He hates when I say it."

It isn't hard to notice the silent shock on his leader's face, and that honest expression is new from the generally stoic blond. 

"What's with that look?"

"Ah…" he stumbles on his words. "I'm just surprised. Everyone seems to hold you both in such high regard."

Meis has to bite his tongue, not trusting his impulse response to be neither respectful nor quiet. He thinks back - do they? All these years, he's only been around as backup. Gueira was, formally, the only one to take up the mantle as leader, and Meis refuses to make any steps towards encroaching on that title. 

If anything, his underlying fear is that everyone else thinks he's trying to take over, or using his partner as a pawn. The ideas that he's been giving off the wrong signal, or that he's been misreading his teammates' own behaviors, isn't new to him; Gueira has, historically, been the better one in the pair at reading between the lines. 

Still, to have spent all these years doubting himself, only to be told they were wasted when he could have been something more, sparks denial in his gut. No, it couldn't be true, even if his leader has no reason to tell anything but the truth. 

"Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry." 

All that time in his thoughts, and he forgot to actually answer.

"N-no, boss, sorry," Meis apologizes for his silence, but eye contact doesn't come easily. "Just…. didn't expect that, really. Guess I never got the same read off everyone, huh?"

Lio's eyes widen, but then his gaze softens as he nods once more. "I think I understand."

"You too?"

"Yeah." 

It's almost comforting. "Well, makes me feel a bit better." 

He's trying not to think further about how he's still getting upstaged by a kid. He's trying.

Gueira shifts in his lap, only adjusting his arm under him, but the motion is enough for the two men to go silent until they're certain he's asleep. Only then does Meis's hand return to its motions, slowly carding his fingers through the curly red locks, the repetitive action comforts him. It almost distracts him from the fact Lio is still there.

"Still, I suppose I see where they're coming from," he muses. "I mean, look at you two now; I haven't known you long, but it feels like I haven't seen you two apart for more than five minutes."

Meis hazards a glance, and Lio's eyebrows furrow when he pauses, hesitating before speaking up again. "Is that rude to say?"

_You're asking the wrong guy for that_ . "I don't think so. Can't really deny that, considering..." _this._

It's silent again, the pair's gazes locked onto the dark waste before them. Meis can feel that Lio wants to ask something more, and it feels... new; after everything they've been through, he's never seen their leader so talkative.

No, he's not talkative. That's not what this is. He's restless. Not like Meis can blame him.

The younger man's voice is quieter when he finally voices what's on his mind. "Is it… nice? Having a partner?"

Meis sighs. He wouldn't call this a question he's been looking forward to. "How honest an answer do you want?"

"...Be real with me, then."

"Awesome. 'Cuz honestly? It's terrifying," Meis laughs, but it's humorless. "I'd never go through any of this alone, and hell, I don't think I'd last half as long as you did by myself."

"But?"

"But," he continues, with a sarcastic nod, "It reminds me, just sometimes, that shit. I'm weak. If anything happened, what would I be able to do about it? Nothing."

It feels unspoken, somehow, that they shouldn't look at each other. All of this is too personal as it is.

Still, the discomfort in Lio's voice is audible. "You aren't weak, Meis."

_Hah._ "Thanks, boss, but you don't have to comfort me. It's just how it is, honestly, when you're on the run with the only guy you have left. Least of all when you've loved him for so long."

The dirt on the concrete flooring crumbles, softly, under the young Burnish when he shifts his weight.

"...Did something like that ever happen?"

"Like what?" It's a dumb question; Meis knows what he's still thinking about.

"Losing each other," Lio clarifies, but he keeps going when Meis offers no response. "I apologize if that doesn't make any sense."

With his other hand, the raven Burnish waves half-heartedly. "I get what you mean, don't worry." 

If anything, it makes too much sense.

.

.

.

  
  


The question, however, hangs in the air all the same.

  
  


He takes a breath before answering, eyes tracing the dim starlight above. They can't see Promepolis anymore, and Meis really is grateful for that, but it's not enough. Not _far_ enough. They're not safe. The weak, muted blazes are cruel reminders of that. 

"If I'm honest, we haven't. Had some close calls, like everyone does," Meis admits, "but we haven't been hauled off anywhere if it wasn't without the other."

_"Till death do us part_ ," _someone had joked. It was a horribly timed joke, to be fair, and Gueira's good arm had made damn sure to let the fucker's jaw know. Even so, it got them to think, and once they'd broken out of that old, shitty jail cell…_

His free hand comes up to his arm, fingers brushing over the dark ink, and he chuckles. "It was 'round then we got these tattoos, actually," Meis recounts. Maybe he's fonder of the memory than he'd like to admit. 

"So they're like…" _Wedding rings?_

_I wish._ "Mementos. In case one of us dies first." 

He would love it if the meaning could be different. Meis wants nothing more than to treasure the ink as a lover's bond, not a death pact, but, of course he can't. Anything more is too great a luxury to them, isn't it? 

"Even then, you keep each other close." It could be Meis's imagination, that sensation of eyes burning onto him, onto the man he holds, but he thinks it's fair to guess otherwise. He doesn't try to meet that gaze. 

"Yeah, of course," Meis nods. He can't help but let his other hand wander, from crimson locks to the tan, freckled face that rests so peacefully, so beautifully, near him. Gueira's cheek is soft. How unfair. "I honestly can't sleep otherwise." 

"Is that why you two are always…" He can hear the uncertainty in Lio's voice as he trails off.

_What, all over each other?_ "Yep. Guess we're still not ready for the worst, huh?" 

There's a hand on his shoulder. Meis still doesn't have the heart to make eye contact. He's not confident in himself right now.

  
  
  


_They've lost track of the nights they can't get back, spent holding each other close, eyes wide open because who's to say what they'll wake up to in the morning? Who's to say they won't join the countless other Burnish who've lost their families, their friends, the people they love, or their own lives, all in a night?_

_"I know one day we're just going to lose all of this shit. Whatever fucked up God is out there, it doesn't want any of us Burnish to be happy."_

_"What are you saying…?"_

_"…If anything happens to you, I don't… want you to go it alone. Does that make sense?"_

_Too much sense._

_"...Yeah. Whatever happens, we go it together."_

_But he's still scared. He's not ready for them to die._

"It won't come to that," Lio insists. "We're not going to let them take anything from us again."

Meis thinks back, remembering the bags under the children's eyes. The bone-thin limbs of their elders, who can hardly stand on their own. The sobs of reunited couples the moment they returned to the settlement. His own partner, sleeping soundly for the first time in what feels like years. To their leader, restless at his side, praying that he's done enough for the people he loves. Maybe, a bit selfishly, to himself as well.

None of them deserve to suffer again.

He takes a deep breath. "Yeah. We're going to make things better."

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: gueira laying his head on meis's lap
> 
> there arent enough gueimeis fics so i decided i was going to b the change i wanted to see in the world
> 
> EDIT: there were a lot more feelings i wanted to pour into this fic, and i also decided the old title was dogshit, so i updated it and probably made it worse lol. turned out less a gueimeis fic n more a fic about the concept of gueimeis
> 
> comments still welcome xoxo


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